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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on February 4, 2010

Another barrier I am having to overcome in allowing myself to have a dream and pursue it is to realize it’s ok to do what I like to do.  I grew up with a background and personality of self-denial and somehow in church world we give the idea that such makes one spiritual.  Ever notice though how the people you admire enjoy their lives?  You admire them because they are successful and they are successful because they are doing something they enjoy.

In chapter three of Put Your Dream To The Test, John Maxwell says, “People who achieve success love what they do and do it well.”  It was a breakthrough for me in high school when I realized that the way God was leading me was through the desires He was putting in my heart.  Doesn’t it make sense that we are going to try to become good at what we like?  And we are going to want to do the things we like?  So won’t we be most content and efficient to do that which we enjoy?  In making that happen we become deeply connected with our dream so that it is not just what we do from nine to five, but it’s who we are.

We then build and work toward that dream in continuous small steps.  We should examine our habits.  Whatever our dream is, it’s not going to just happen one day.  We have to use the talents, materials, and time that are within our possession and control to work toward our goal.

When that begins to happen our dream creates momentum to where we begin to see progress but may still be nervous about our future or the security we may loose if we fully commit to whatever it is we are pursuing.  Chapter four addresses this by asking if our dream is so real to us that it compels us to follow it.  Maxwell says, “to succeed in life we must stay within our strength zone but continually move outside our comfort zone.”  This is where things get hard.  For me, I feel in some ways I am in that place now and it can be quite scary at times.  But this is where our passion must come in.  The vision of our dream making us a better person or causing change in our work, family, or world must cause there to be enough passion to get us out of our comfort zones.  Because if passion doesn’t pull us out into the unknown, nothing will.

That thought leads into chapter five which was great for me because it talked about setting goals and making plans for your dream.  I love making plans!!!  And having them is important in pursuing something.  A dream may be one big idea or vision but goals are necessary in getting there.  The dream is the “what” and the goals are the “how”.  If you’re ever going to get others to buy in to your goal, you are going to have to be able to explain what your goals and plans are for achieving it.  And getting others to jump on board is exactly what was discussed next in the book and is also where I struggle the most.

Check back tomorrow!

Category: Book Reviews, Vision | No Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on February 3, 2010

What is it you really want to do?  Or better yet, if you knew you could not fail, what would you do?  I heard someone ask that question and then follow it up by saying, “you’re foolish to do anything other than what you just answered.”  My initial reaction to those statements a few years ago may have been to call it some “pie in the sky” dreaming that ignored reality but I now realize it is dreams that cause us to strive for more.  And to some extent, dreams must ignore reality because they are a vision for what is not yet real.

While reading the first few chapters of Put Your Dream To The Test, author John Maxwell’s words had me focusing in on not only my dream, but my thoughts toward my dream.  And did I even have a dream.  Rejecting the notion of dreaming and accusing others of living in fantasy land is exactly what causes most people to live lives of quiet desperation.  On the inside the average man wants more but thinks it is either beyond his right or his ability to get, have, and do more than the average.  In dreaming though it is not about the quantity of what we get, but the quality of what we want.

What do we want out of life?
How do we want to make a difference?

First we must recognize whether or not we have a dream.  Then lay out what it is.  Then evaluate it.  Is it my dream?  When did I begin wanting this?  Did I inherit it from someone else?  Am I getting paid to have this as my dream?  If you say yes to the last two questions it’s probably not really YOUR dream.  So figure that out.  And if you determine it is yours, invest in it.  Put some pressure on yourself.  Throw some chips in on your dream so that you are invested in it and forced to be committed to it.  This could mean buying an item to get yourself started or making your dream public so others will watch your progress.

With my dream, I found myself waiting for “the ok” to go.  I’m not sure where I expected that permission to come from but was hit hard when I read that such permission can only come from myself.  Here I was being the biggest hindrance to what I wanted.

Once we realize it is ok to go, we immediately begin changing.  It’s not just reaching our goal, but the entire journey towards it that molds who we are and what we want.  The journey turns us into better people.  It’s not that only great people can follow their dreams, but ordinary people who follow their dreams often times do great things.

So what is your dream?  Could you describe it to me?  Is it what you really want?  Are you laying it out clearly so others can understand it?

Category: Book Reviews, Communication, Leadership, Vision | No Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 31, 2010

“A dream is an inspiring picture of the future that energizes your mind, will, and emotions, empowering you to do everything you can to achieve it.”  That self-made definition of John Maxwell’s serves as the hinge of the introduction to his book, Put Your Dream To The Test.  While underlining it, I reflected on the words “inspiring picture of the future” and could not help but think of the word vision.  I mean, is that not what a vision is?  Something that is not yet but you see it so clearly you believe it is possible and knowing it’s possible excites you to try and make it reality?  To me it is, and that’s why I was already hooked on this book, three pages in.

The introduction went on to present the reasons many of our dreams slip away as well as the necessity of living with a dream.  Maxwell states that those who don’t have a compelling dream are in danger of having their lives slip away.  I have learned that if you don’t decipher what you want for your life and then go after it, someone else will.  That’s when we find ourselves old and miserable because we have been doing someone else’s work for someone else’s vision and contributed nothing to what gives us meaning and contentment.  Many allow life to close up on their dreams though, believing such things are only for the rich, famous, or fortunate when those of us who have true burning dreams cannot help but long to follow them despite the risks.  And I believe that it is those who dare to do so and succeed who most of the time become the rich, the famous, and the fortunate.  “You can’t reach for a dream and remain safely mediocre at the same time” (pg. xvi).  That quote scares many in our security-driven culture but I believe it also motivates some, most likely those who will go on to lead fulfilling, meaningful lives.

The introduction of the book ends with Maxwell listing why so many give up on their dreams.  I had to take this list as a personal check sheet as those who enter half-hearted, insecure, or only looking for the material reward will most likely fail.

So much to say and I’m not even to chapter one yet!

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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 30, 2010

The first book I chose to read in 2010 was John Maxwell’s Put Your Dream To The Test.  Of course, I’m all about having dreams, living with goals, making plans, and believing in the passions of your young aspirations rather than just letting them fade away.  That’s why this book title appealed to me.  Just several pages in, I knew I had made a good choice.

Now, it doesn’t take much to get me going these days as far as getting excited about my dream.  Just driving through the city of Chattanooga or someone in a crowd whispering a phrase that rhymes with “church planting” will make me want to run circles or loudly regurgitate all I know about starting a church.  Working through this book served as even additional motivation as well as a honing guide for laying out my dream.

The book was written (or at least I read it) with a very seasoned, mentoring tone.  Each chapter served as a question challenging the reader to gauge the reality, validity, and authenticity of one’s personal dream.  There was an incredible balance of motivating the reader to pursue his dreams, while also strongly urging them to be honest about the possibility of such a dream coming true.  Never was there a section that could be interpreted as belittling a dream or discouraging someone from thinking big.  Maxwell was even careful to say that it is ok if someone cannot clearly articulate their dream but that they should be working on that as the next step.  The importance of involving others was also stressed because anything that is greater than one person requires more than one person.

The book connected with me so deeply where I am right now in the preparation stage of pursuing my dream, I have decided to review the book and write a series of posts that will include book excerpts and my thoughts as I went through the material.  I would love to lead a book study on the volume, but since I’m not, we will do a cyber one on here for several days.  Feel free to follow along!

Category: Book Reviews, Church Planting, Vision | No Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 28, 2010

When someone asked me why I started this site and blog regularly, I responded by explaining that writing is my current outlet to teach and share the things I am experiencing and learning.  Preaching used to be that for me.  I thoroughly enjoy public speaking and used to have a position where I would sometimes get to speak up to three times a week.  It has been over a year though since I last spoke in a church setting and have since began spending much more time writing.  Both preaching and blogging are popular forms of communication but have many differences.  Allow me to compare.

Preaching

Speaking live allows you to sense your audience and receive feedback from them.  A good communicator takes advantage of those in front of them by monitoring their expressions to help judge when people are connecting, understanding, or confused.

Preaching allows you to use a visual aid.

You are able to say things with a certain tone or expression that may give more meaning to your words when you speak live.

Most people have a longer attention span when it comes to watching and hearing over just reading.

Speaking to someone who is at the same place you are causes you to have their attention better than if they are on their computer at home or work where many other things are fighting for their interest.

Blogging

Writing allows you to look at what you have written and even go back and rewrite it if need be to make sure you express yourself clearly.

Written words in books or on websites have the potential to reach more people than you could pack into even the largest room.

Posting short blogs several times a week allows you to address more casual, secondary issues that you may feel need attention but are not necessarily worthy of your forty minute slot on the weekend.

Blogs allow the author to “take you there” with the ability to attach and add links that help the reader experience their point.

Having a blog allows the person with something to say, who struggles with the idea of being in front of people, present their message with confidence.

I enjoy both of these forms of communicating and information sharing.  Studies show that we retain information a lot better if we teach it to others, so find some outlet to be heard.  Take advantage of the many forms of networking that our information age provides.

I would rather be in front of a crowd than a computer any day, but that is not going to keep me from sharing the lessons of my life through whatever means necessary.  Which form of communication do you prefer?

Category: Communication, Writing | No Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 22, 2010

My fiancé and I started premarital counseling this past week.  One of the things we were asked to do was make a list of all the things we feel are strengths of our relationship.  I really liked the way Katy described us when she was reading her list and said, “We agree on most things and when we don’t we enjoy each other’s thoughts.”  Good stuff babe!

Could somebody go to this page, scroll down to the “Group Illusion,” and please explain it to me?!?  I have wasted so much time at work the past few days staring at my screen, trying to figure out where the person disappears to.

Our church has begun a Thursday night service to serve as a third service because of overflowing crowds on Sundays.  I got to stand around before the service last night and talk with some of the volunteers.  It was really good to hear both old and young men showing excitement about this new, unique service our church is doing to reach our community.  I heard several stories by these guys where they talked about being convicted about not being involved enough or sacrificing enough within the church.  It was exciting for me to see some guys from different generations working together and showing pride in getting to be a part of what their church is doing.

Category: Churches, My Life / Personal, Relationships / Love | No Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 15, 2010

A couple months ago Perry Noble posted on his blog a list of ways to kill the vision of your church. Number nine was simply “Vote!” Just reading that struck a nerve and made me want to write about it. Actually I’m surprised I have gone this long without blogging on congregational voting before as I believe there is nothing more irresponsible or unspiritual that many of our American churches do as a practice.

Even when I was a part of the kind of churches that vote I was baffled by the idea. It actually makes me angry when I think about the service in which I was voted on in joining a church staff. I had gone through extensive interviews with the pastor, the staff, the deacons, the youth I would be working with, the parents of the youth I would be working with, the search committee, the Wednesday night dinner committee, the party planning committee, and anyone else who wanted to throw a right wing theological question my way. I had also worked at the church in an interim capacity for several months, so they knew me quite well by this time. In a Sunday service the chair of the church committee read a recommendation for me to join the staff as well as some of the stories from my already existing ministry there. The pastor then spoke highly of me and said how God had given him peace that I was to be a part of the church staff. I then shared my testimony and told about my desire for ministry and to serve at such a great church. And then…………they took a vote. I cannot believe this actually happened! Literally hundreds of people I had never met or who would never be affected by my ministry area were able to reject or approve my joining the staff there. When a church conducts business in such a manor it’s pretty much saying, “we know this is the will of God, He has told us what to do, but because we want you to like us and we know that you want to feel important in the church, it’s up to you”.

Voting on the will of God may be the reason God is unable to speak in many churches. Doing so sure shows we have little gratitude or respect for when God speaks. I remember even asking my pastor at that church why we vote on the will of God. His response was a look of powerlessness and a shrug of the shoulders followed by something about people would get upset if the church didn’t let them vote on everything.

We tie the hands of God when we put His words through the filtering of approval by every non-committed Christian who sits on a pew and claims a church membership. Churches should be willing to provided account as far as financial records and other areas of stewardship to the involved, giving members who request to see such data. But to take every decision that has been intently thought about, prayed through, and agonized over by the equipped leadership of the church who are paid to do and lead ministry and then vote on it by the person who just showed up on Sunday is ridiculous!

While at a clergy retreat held by denominational leaders, one speaker was addressing the situation of pastors fresh out of seminary who get plugged into smaller, family type churches. He said that when such pastors fail to recognize (meaning accept) that culture and try to do more outreach or not approve his decisions through the “heritage” church members, they are being foolish. Those where the actual words he used! So getting to the point where you hear from the Almighty and then want to take Him at His word and act in faith is foolish!

Yes there must be accountability and trusted leadership, but the day churches start seeking the applause of their congregation in pursuing their God-given vision, a cap is put on the potential of that church and a precedence is set as to who is the head of that body.

Category: Church Life / Denominations, Ministry | 1 Comment »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 12, 2010

I have mentioned on this site before that I am someone who sees meaning and a message behind everything.  Those who know me well are aware that I can become emotional over about anything.  Now, I don’t blog to be a media critic or give music or tv reviews, but when something touches me, I want to talk about it.  When there is music that moves me, an image that connects with who I am or who I want to be, or a story or character that I can see myself in, I can’t help but be drawn in.  I have found all of those things to be part of the reason I find myself engrossed in TNT’s new series Men of A Certain Age.

The weekly hour long show stars and is produced by Ray Romano, who I already adored, and is the ongoing story of three men in their forties as they deal with real life issues.  The writing is impressive and smart as each of the three featured characters has a very unique and clearly conveyed personality and lifestyle, allowing almost any guy who watches the show to latch on to one of them.  One man is going through a separation and fighting to stay involved in the lives of his kids while dealing with a gambling addiction.  Another man is trying to continue in the lifestyle of a swinging bachelor while going back and forth on whether he feels contentment with his life.  The third man has an incredible, supportive wife and a great family but is consistently distracted from enjoying them because of a job he hates, the rejection he feels from his father, and stressful situations emotionally and financially.

I find myself feeling their pain and longing for a meaningful life every time I watch the show.  Routinely the scenes follow the men’s individual stories and trials while intermission clips have the three at a diner table discussing life and challenging, supporting, and picking on one another.  Though my life situation is not the same as any of these men’s, I strongly sense an attachment to some of their personality struggles and am pulled in to their problems because in a very un-media like way, they have true, believable struggles that I could see one day being struggles for myself.  Perhaps it is watching these three men go through their midlife crisis that is speaking to me, causing me to evaluate myself now so I never have to have one of my own.  Perhaps I am jealous of their bond, hoping no matter how messed up my life gets in the future I will have solid friends to sit across the table from and pour myself out to.  Maybe I have been hooked by just another show with descent scripting.  Maybe I’m just bored and this show just happened to be on.

Either way, it has moved me and whether the message it is sending is the one I’m actually receiving or not, I feel like the result has been meaningful thinking about myself.  And so, I thought I would share it with you.

Category: Emotion Issues, Entertainment | 2 Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 9, 2010

It was probably during my last years of high school that I came to appreciate people who encouraged me. Having been home schooled for ten years, I enrolled in a private school for my junior and senior years. I began to value real friendships, get involved in sports and extra-curricular events, and also about that time I became more vocal about pursuing ministry. I received immense support and encouragement from my Christian school teachers. I was obsessed with psychology at the time and made it a point to hang around a lot of people with sanguine temperaments because even though I did not enjoy the mood swings or share in the spontaneous actions, I noticed they were very complementary and flattering.

I then made it through college with a good bit of a support group from which I received affirmation through letters, money, or just good solid conversations. I was then immersed in encouragement when I was hired onto a church staff. It was not until much later I learned the sad truth that my case was not the norm with ministers but during my two years on staff I was showered with love, support, free food, positive words, and the like. Anytime I was given a Sunday night to preach, there was a line after the service telling me how great it was. Never did I leave a youth event without a note on my car complimenting my effort. I was able to keep an encouragement drawer in my office desk of all the notes, cards, pictures, gift cards receipts, etc. that had been given me. I took all of this for granted and like most things, did not miss it until it was gone. Sure, when I was let go from the church I got bombarded with phone calls and emails and was invited to several family dinners, but those slowly faded and I had to learn to pick my own self up and go.

I am still lucky though. I have people tell me how much they appreciate what I do or say, and I never take that lightly. I even had someone text me because they thought it had been too long since I had last blogged and they told me how much they enjoy reading what I write. I still get hugs from people I used to work with when we see each others at Wal-Mart. I have a high school class mate who always tells me how much talent and potential he thinks I have. And several weeks ago I was just walking a hallway in the hospital and ran into a man from the church I used to serve at. Never had this man been under my ministry or related to anyone who was, but he had always made an intentional effort to get to me, shake my hand, and speak words of power into me. He stopped me there in the hospital and picked up as though he had never quit, feeding me with power and truth. Even though we had never really sat down together and had not even been in contact in some time, he shared how he continues to pray for me and that he believes with all his heart that God has told him how huge the things are He wants to do through me.

I fought back tears in the middle of a busy hallway as I thought to myself, I needed to hear this. It is a gift from God to have people who encourage me and lift me up.

A professor in college told me the guest who encourages will always be invited back. I wish everyone could experience having people in their lives who speak into them. There is a power that comes in knowing others love you and support you. And for me to know that, those people had to make a move. They could have just thought nice things about me or prayed for me but never let me know. No, rather they came to me and let me know what to them was probably simple thoughts but served as amazing encouragement to me.

We need to recognize and appreciate those who are encouraging us. Without knowing it, they are causing us to feel empowered and calling for us to reach higher. Know who is encouraging you and keep them close!

Category: Emotion Issues, My Life / Personal | No Comments »
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Posted By Aaron Marcelli on December 29, 2009

I’m not sure what your view is on New Year’s resolutions, but I used to be all about them. Starting probably when I was in high school, I would always use the last days of December to plan how I was going to use the following year to become the best person ever and accomplish more than was humanly possible. Yearly my outlandish goals to read the Bible through, read x amount of books, and get everyone I knew saved would lead to disappointment and little, if any, actually progress. I struggled with unrealistic goals and once February roles around and you realize it’s not going to happen you tend to give up all together.

Last year though I found an approach that works much better. Rather than try to change the world (or even yourself) in just 365 days, why not create a list of things (some small, some larger) that could be done over the course of a year. I ended up jotting down 50 of them about a year ago – about one per week. I then posted them and marked them off as I did them. Using this system allowed me in 2009 to……

Get my APR lowered

Fix my cracked car window

Read a book in a day

Go to a concert

Get a date

Give money to a stranger

Take a vacation other than to see family

Run a half mile without slowing

Watch all the seasons of “The Office”

Go to lunch with my pastor

Unfortunately, there were still a few things I had planned to do but did not. Such as:

Update my GPS

Get an article printed in a magazine

Start writing on my second book

Go through all my class notes from college

Move to a new house/apartment

I still feel this way of setting goals helped me accomplish a lot. Some of the things I put on my list were small things I had just been putting off. Some of them were bigger and required a lot of work. On some the timing just wasn’t right and on others I was over-achieved (example: I wanted to get a date and now I’m getting married in a couple months).

Maybe this system would work for you if you find yourself using the New Year to set goals and you struggle like I used to in keeping the commitments.

And in case you’re interested, here are some of the things I have on tap for 2010:

Go to a driving range

Pay off the debt I have to myself

Get to my desired weight

Go to a live stand up club

Be a vegetarian for a month (something I also did last year)

Whitewater rafting

Finish church planter training

Raise enough support to quit my day job my the end of the year

Visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Find a regular volunteering position in Chattanooga

Finish the magazine article about my book

Go through and file all my class notes from college

Category: My Life / Personal | 1 Comment »
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