Something I have been receiving from God is that I am good enough.  Not that I could or should ever think I can do anything great without Him, but that He can use me just as greatly as He has used any of those I admire.  In months past it was really difficult for me to meet with great church leaders or experienced ministry “professionals.”  I felt as though I should be accepting everything they had to say and was no one to be disagreeing with them.  I would always walk away grateful for the advice, but still knowing that some of what they said was not true to my personal vision.

A repeated phrase though that I have heard from many I respect is that “you must fight for your vision.”  I have had young, old, traditional, and contemporary church leaders express the importance of not allowing others to derail or cloud what God has put on my heart.  Some have even advised I be “mean” about my vision.  It took some growth on my part though to come to the point where I felt I could humbly, yet boldly, determine that if what I feel called to is truly going to be my vision, and if I’m going to be the one who holds to it and leads a ministry to carry it out, I have to believe in myself and recognize that I am good enough.  I may see others as better than myself, but if I know I have heard from God about what is the call for me and my specific ministry, then that’s what I must stick to if I’m going to be obedient.

If God’s sees us as good enough to put a call on our lives, we must see ourselves as good enough to pursue it.

The game itself was exciting.  There was a lot of action.  The pace of hockey games is really fast with a lot of quick substitutions.  The crowd was really into the game.  And of course, there were several fights.  As a matter of fact though, I was surprised at just how into the game the entire crowd seemed to be.  In my mind, hockey is not a major American sport, but an impressive amount of people were in the arena, all glued to the ice, cheering and reacting to almost every move.  I did get into the game and even jumped to my feet when the home team scored, but at times I still felt lost.  A lot of whistles were blown for rules I did not understand.  Players were penalized for slashing and dashing and flashing and all kinds of things I didn’t know about.

We tried to pick up on the rules from the discussion of some grade school kids behind us but I still could not help but feel like an outsider who had energetically intruded into the hockey nerd’s bubble.

Because I think about church all the time, I could not help but draw the comparison.  I have to wonder how many people every week have feelings about church like I did at the hockey game.  How many ‘outsiders’ give church another (or a first) try and end up feeling like they don’t get it or confused because they don’t understand or know the rules.  I grew up in church but was still exposed to how a non-church person may view our services every time I brought a visitor.  When we have a new person we care about accompany us to work, school or church for the first time, we over-analyze everything, trying to view it in their eyes.  I did this, and it was not until I did that I realized how so many of the things that occur in most church services only appeal to or can be understood by “church people.”

When reading the Bible, I cannot help but see that the church is designed to reach people with the gospel message.  Therefore, everything that we do should be to appeal to them.  If church is boring, out of touch, or fake, those who visit will immediately be turned off and non-receptive when the message of Christ is presented.

All I know is going to that hockey game was fun.  I enjoyed it.  There was a lot of cheering and yelling and I was impressed with the player’s skills, but I still could not play the game by the rules, much less explain it to anyone else.  Could the same be said about our churches?

Even when I was a part of the kind of churches that vote I was baffled by the idea. It actually makes me angry when I think about the service in which I was voted on in joining a church staff. I had gone through extensive interviews with the pastor, the staff, the deacons, the youth I would be working with, the parents of the youth I would be working with, the search committee, the Wednesday night dinner committee, the party planning committee, and anyone else who wanted to throw a right wing theological question my way. I had also worked at the church in an interim capacity for several months, so they knew me quite well by this time. In a Sunday service the chair of the church committee read a recommendation for me to join the staff as well as some of the stories from my already existing ministry there. The pastor then spoke highly of me and said how God had given him peace that I was to be a part of the church staff. I then shared my testimony and told about my desire for ministry and to serve at such a great church. And then…………they took a vote. I cannot believe this actually happened! Literally hundreds of people I had never met or who would never be affected by my ministry area were able to reject or approve my joining the staff there. When a church conducts business in such a manor it’s pretty much saying, “we know this is the will of God, He has told us what to do, but because we want you to like us and we know that you want to feel important in the church, it’s up to you”.

Voting on the will of God may be the reason God is unable to speak in many churches. Doing so sure shows we have little gratitude or respect for when God speaks. I remember even asking my pastor at that church why we vote on the will of God. His response was a look of powerlessness and a shrug of the shoulders followed by something about people would get upset if the church didn’t let them vote on everything.

We tie the hands of God when we put His words through the filtering of approval by every non-committed Christian who sits on a pew and claims a church membership. Churches should be willing to provided account as far as financial records and other areas of stewardship to the involved, giving members who request to see such data. But to take every decision that has been intently thought about, prayed through, and agonized over by the equipped leadership of the church who are paid to do and lead ministry and then vote on it by the person who just showed up on Sunday is ridiculous!

While at a clergy retreat held by denominational leaders, one speaker was addressing the situation of pastors fresh out of seminary who get plugged into smaller, family type churches. He said that when such pastors fail to recognize (meaning accept) that culture and try to do more outreach or not approve his decisions through the “heritage” church members, they are being foolish. Those where the actual words he used! So getting to the point where you hear from the Almighty and then want to take Him at His word and act in faith is foolish!

Yes there must be accountability and trusted leadership, but the day churches start seeking the applause of their congregation in pursuing their God-given vision, a cap is put on the potential of that church and a precedence is set as to who is the head of that body.

I have to confess that I have fallen to this temptation as well.  I would show sympathy when hearing about another ministry’s misfortune while deep inside always feeling better about myself.  It was as though if I could show they were not all others thought they were, I was somehow better.  Or if I did not like a certain pastor or church, for whatever reason, I wanted to hear bad things about them to repeat.  I now find this very funny because in college I created the ministry motives test which basically says, if someone else accomplished what you wanted to do for God, how would you feel? Is my ultimate motive to see others come to Christ, or to be the one who gets them there?

It’s silly if you think about it; to get upset because someone hundreds of miles away is doing well at something you want to do where you are.  Or that someone in the church down the street is reaching people you have never even reached out to.  Yet, I have been there.

One of the fastest growing churches in America is Elevation Church.  I found out about them at the Unleash Conference in 2008 when I saw this kid.  I then found out the kid was a pastor.  I then found out this kid was the pastor of the largest group at the conference.  I rushed home to look up info on him, as though I was going to find something no one else knew.  Come to find out the kid was Steven Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina and I had no problem with him other than he was young.  His church has grown to about 5,000 in three years and he started the church when he was twenty-six.

I was jealous.  That’s all there is to it.  I thought he was too young, even though he was doing at his age what I wished I could be doing at the time.  I thought his church was growing too fast, which I doubt he really had much control over.  I was upset with him for a lot of things that were not his fault.

So how did I overcome this?  I educated myself.  It’s easy to look down on and accuse when you are ignorant.  So I read his blog (though I refused to “follow” it) and got some of his sermons on Itunes.  I forced myself to admit when he made good points or had great ideas.  It was hard for me, but I don’t want to become some bitter preacher who becomes a critic when people get saved.  I would never want someone to waste time getting upset or jealous of me over something so shallow and pointless.

When we look at other churches, or other businesses, or sometimes even other’s lives, we can immediately get critical in an attempt to look better.  All that does is reveal our own insecurity and repel a lot of people.  That’s not what I want for my life.  Perhaps if we rejoiced with others more, they would feel more supported and not fall into situations that cause us to have to mourn with them.

My reasoning for doing this has been that many of these pastors or churches have had a great impact on me.  I have been molded and challenged by being able to read or listen to many of the resources that come out of some of our countries largest congregations.  Visiting churches such as Willow Creek and North Point have made me better and allowed me to evaluate the way they do things.  I have not been to their churches, but getting to hear both Rob Bell and Joel Osteen in person (on separate occasions) made a great impact on me and God used those events, more than those men, to speak to me.

I also believe that God does not have a system.  I don’t think there is just one way to teach, preach, or do church that is His requirement.  So from what I know of most of the churches that make the 7,000+ attendees group, they are effectively reaching people as a result of God blessing that churches ministry.

All that being said, this post is actually about some of the things I have seen in many mega-churches that actually bother me, quite a bit.

I acknowledge that the following are generalizations and in no way do I believe what I am about to say applies to every large church (or does not apply to every small church).  The first thing that kind of irks me the wrong way when studying some of these ministries is that it appears to be all about image.  I love touring church building and hearing stories from church staff, but when that is the foot you lead with and you talk like there is never anything wrong at your church, that may be a problem.  So many larger churches have pages dedicated on their website to telling you all about their staff.  One area church’s site actually has a page of multiple posed pictures of the pastor and his wife you can print out to have, but no mention of Jesus.  Another top 10 attendance church in the nation which has a country wide TV ministry had the pastor visiting church member homes at Christmas to sing carols and eat cookies with the families.  Every home he visited was a highly attractive young couple living in at least half a million dollar homes.  It really bothers me that some churches try so hard to give a picture of their church as elite when I’m sure it has been reaching the downtrodden and outcast which has boosted their numbers in the first place.

Also, I find that many large churches seem to reach a point where they feel they must abandon what got them to where they are and begin doing what every other highly successful church is doing.  I see examples of this all over the entertainment industry where bands look like simple everyday guys on their first album cover but after “making it” they all grow their hair out and get tattoos, piercing, or do whatever else the groups they are trying to match are doing.

For church, could it not be that what made you big will keep you big?  I had someone advise me that once I get my ministry going, I need to stay a church planter as long as I can.  “You will eventually settle down into the roll of a pastor” he told me, “but even if your church grows to thousands, try to keep that church planter mindset of reaching everyone”.  Sure, more people and more money allow you and force you to do certain things in church world, but conforming is not one of those things.  It may have been being unique that got you where you are.  Part of why two out of three church plants fail is because they are built on some other church’s vision or philosophy.  So they fail.  Why has this not been learned by large churches that fail to continue growing when they feel that they need to offer certain ministries or start hosting conferences just because the big church across the country does.

Even though I have always been a part of large churches and in most areas feel they are best equipped to meet peoples needs, they, just like everyone else, are not perfect.  My hope is that as God continues to raise great ministries and great church leaders, He will strongly call us to authenticity and humility; two things He always blesses!

My former youth pastor challenged me with this post about being willing to ask for things.

Jim Akins is a church planting expert on staff at West Ridge Church.  In this post he describes a very unique and powerful thing their church did with money.

I’m a little bit ashamed to admit I follow Dumb As A Blog but they are a great source for stupid criminal stories, funny news events, and here they list the 5 stupidest holiday gifts.

A guy I knew in college, David, is now a missionary to Brazil and wrote this great post about God’s will.

Every person in every place should read absolutely everything that Perry Noble ever writes!

The Bean Creator is a blog of some great financial advice for ministry leaders.  The writer posted this entry about following up with first time givers.

I have blogged about Gray Lamb before but this post from him where he looks back over his ministry is one of the best I have ever read!!

And finally, every ministry person should be following the blog of church advisor Tony Morgan.  This post of his is a video he found mocking how many churches do series planning.

We now have a good group of anywhere from 3 to 8 people who are meeting every Tuesday night to discuss life.  I approached the launching of the group thinking I was going to be able to pour into others but the past few weeks have found the opposite to be true.

In trying to juggle several transitions that are present in my life right now, as well as continuing to work toward church planting and full time ministry, my true routine, planning, perfectionist nature has arisen.  My recent prayer times have turned into me sitting down before God with a pen and a tablet, looking for Him to give me a timeline, a plan of action, or to have Him approve the one I already came up with.

I was struggling with wanting to know what the plan was going to be and the pressure of having everything mapped out as I entered small group this past Tuesday.  I think we were discussing fear and guilt (great motivators, poor masters) and the conversation sidetracked into perfectionist thinking.  I expressed to the group how I think fear causes me to play things safe and only go as far as I had planned or anticipated with things.  The discussion that followed was a tremendous blessing to me and exactly what I needed to hear.

Our friend Jennifer was a first time guest in the group but spoke up, telling of her past imprisonment to her scheduling book.  She talked in a way of being delivered from that and now seeking a daily dependence on God.  I felt convicted as she spoke of sometimes falling back into being very schedule and plan driven but how she hopes to continue living in a way that allows God to interrupt her life with blessings and opportunities.

A guy in our group named Michael then spoke some about stewardship and said two phrases I still cannot get out of my head.  He said, “You have to live in the moment.  Just be faithful with what you have today”.  That was so powerful to me as my current system of living had been to hoard, save, and build up.  Through the discussion of my group it was revealed to me how I was living a life that severally lacked faith.

I honestly believe that one of the most frequent ways God chooses to speak to us is through the council of others, sometimes when they do not even know God is using them.  My small group serves as a reminder of how we all need consistent fellowship and community with those we can open our lives up with and hold each others hand as we do life together.

Thanks guys!

Reflecting back on that situation though, I have to wonder his intention behind asking if it was a solid church.  What does that even mean anyway?  I’m not unfamiliar with the term though because I grew up in a culture where we were challenged to always be in a solid church.  There were reminders of how our church was a solid church but there were fewer and fewer solid churches now days and if we were not going to be in a solid church, we might as well not be in church at all.  From considering all the ways I heard this phrase used, I think I have determined that when others say this, what they mean by “solid” is…..

• A church that does things the same way we do
• A church that carries things out in a familiar way that we are used to
• A church that only believes what we believe
• A church that has our priorities and values
• A church with a rich heritage (meaning the best days are behind them but they are still formal)

A “solid” church, according to that definition, is not open to any new ideas or the challenging of beliefs and ideologies.  Though I know what is meant by most when they ask about a church being solid, and in most of the core, important areas I guess we would be in agreement, I have no desire to be part of a solid church if those areas are to be the focus or purpose.  The church is to infiltrate the community around it and shift to meet the needs of the unique individuals it is trying to reach.  If the church’s focus is on adhering to the ancient standards of a system that no longer works, there will be no eye to the future and only lip service when it comes to evangelism.

I like the church I am at now, though in many ways it is still a little conservative for me and I feel there is too much “black and white” thinking about things.  However, as I shape and evaluate the vision for the church I hope to be a part of launching in the future, one prayer of mine is that we will not be the traditional interpretation of a solid church.

I’m excited about some of the things happening in my life.  I have begun contacting other church planters and church planting organizations in getting the ball rolling.  Just last week we went down to Dallas, GA to West Ridge Church to meet with Jim Akins and while I was there he introduced me to Tony Morgan.  I got to meet Tony Morgan (as in, THE Tony Morgan)!!!

I feel like things are starting to happen toward church planting and I’m getting my foot in the door with some connections.  My book is currently being professionally edited and will probably be released in January or February of next year and I’m about to begin booking a speaking tour to promote it.  I’ve also been looking for doors to open up to be able to move back to Chattanooga and begin to contribute to that community.

All of this makes me very excited when I think about it, but it kind of in a way totally freaks me out as well.  Because of the latter feeling, I have been driven to prayer a lot more as of late.  I actually made a commitment to leave my radio off for the entire month of October and focus on praying while in my car.  I’ve also amped up my personal time with God on Mondays and started spending more time with Him whenever I have the chance.  A lot of the moves I’ve made in the past weeks have been as a result of having peace and I believe I’m in a place right now where I’m really hearing from God.

It hit me the other day while driving that God has really been speaking to me as of late.  I feel like I have gotten through to Him and He has been answering a lot of my request.  I’ve prayed for wisdom and feel like He has provided.  I prayed for direction and I have seen Him respond.  Because I feel He is listening, I have begun praying for my finances, blessings on others, and the health of several of my relationships.

It’s kind of scary when you realize you are being heard by the Almighty and He is answering what you pray.  I got really nervous actually when I noticed this was happening consistently.  That kind of connection and feeling of intimacy with God is so special and indescribable, and hearing for God is something that many Godly people struggle with, so if I feel I am experiencing that, I need to fight for it.  Hearing from God should serve as motivation for us to rid ourselves of anything that could mess that up.  Daily, I must recognize I need to guard myself and keep myself in a pure and humble position because I don’t think God will stop speaking, but I sure don’t want to fall into a place where I’m no longer able to hear Him.

I was first introduced to Gary by a man in our church who when finding out I liked Perry Noble, told me to check out Gary’s church and blog.  “Gary is even more blunt, open, and in your face than Perry” he told me.  Well it had been May since I last looked at Gary’s blog, and it apparently was right after that time that Gary was asked to resign from his church on account of having had an affair.

Since hearing this I returned to Gary’s blog and at one point spent almost an hour intently reading the copy of his resignation letter as well as the more recent thoughts he has posted on there.  As I read, my heart hurt for this man.  I don’t know him personally and never really became a fan or follower of his, but he was living the life I want as a successful church planter, and now I was reading his words, feeling the pain of what he was now having to admit.

You can read the blog yourself if you care to, but as I read it, it hit me – I do the same thing.  I constantly struggle in areas of lust and pride.  God is just as rejected by my sins as He is Gary’s affair.  It would be foolish of me to go in to church planting by looking at Gary’s story and saying that could never be me.  It most certainly could be and in a lot of ways it probably is me now!

Not only must our guard always be up, but our first focus and love must be Jesus Christ.  We must be so in love with Him that we shudder to think of trading that in for anything less.  May we go beyond simply avoiding sin to actually pursuing righteousness, at all times!  As my heart hurts for Gary and cheers for him as he fights to work things out in his life, may my heart long for Jesus and a pure pursuit of Him that is free of pride or lust.