My wife and I had some really good and necessary conversations about our future this past weekend.  Before such conversations have been somewhat heated but this weekend we were able to be honest and blunt and I think we both feel like we are working together towards the same things in relation to family, living, and work.

I found out last week that a friend of mine from High School has redeveloped his passion for music.  This excites me because I consider the guy to be one of the best musicians I have ever heard play live and was sad when for years he neglected his talent.

I have been invited back to do another interview on the Shirley Thomas internet radio show on Wednesday, August 25^th at 10pm.  You can listen to the show anytime online though.

Also this week I met and got to spend some time with Justin Deweese, lead pastor at Awaken Church in Hixson, Tennessee.  Justin is a church planter and is an awesome guy.  I’m excited because I feel like he and I could become good friends and be a support to each other as we both do ministry in the Chattanooga area.

I have been reading in Ecclesiastes and it is causing me to have a “what’s the point?” kind of outlook on things.  I think this is good (for a time) because it helps you rid yourself of all the flaky stuff that gets in our lives.

What’s going on with you?

Last night I had the privilege of doing an interview on the Shirley Thomas internet radio show.  You can listen to the interview by clicking this link and finding the August 9th episode.  The show was mainly to promote my book, Repentance and Recovery, and be able to share the thoughts and ideas behind it.  It was in some ways difficult for me because I was to present myself and my book as the ‘best thing ever’ so others would be interested.  I tend to be more of a thoughtful, sometimes quieter type and self-promotion is not something I am very comfortable with.  I mean, I felt guilty even sending out a twitter message announcing I would be on the show.

While answering one of the questions though, I expressed my heart, in that my motivation for even writing the book and now sharing it is that my story has connected with people.  When I was going through a time of repentance, I was very open and vulnerable with others about how I was feeling.  And that seemed to connect with people.  I came to realize that every day I walk among people who are burdened by guilt, shame, and condemnation.  Whether that burden was placed on them by their families, the church, or themselves, it still holds them back and causes them to see themselves as second class.  For a while I felt that way and it took God moving in my life to deliver me from that.

For that reason, it hurts me to see others living with more guilt on them than God would ever want them to carry.  Realizing my message is one of being set free and returning to God allows me to be bold in promoting it.  The traditionalist side of me pushes back when I think about desiring to share my message with many, but I have weighed my intentions and acknowledge that my desire is to see people experience freedom and acceptance in Christ and that in sharing that message I hope to be greatly used by God.  I don’t think either of those things are wrong.  As a matter of fact, I believe they may be what God wants as well.

I hope you will be faithful and obedient in sharing your story, your struggles, and your wisdom in pointing others to God.

Last month though Katy and I attended a church planting conference in Cartersville.  Michael Lukaszewski (believe it or not – pronounces the way it looks) is the pastor of Oak Leaf Church in Cartersville and in session one of the church’s ‘Nuts and Bolts’ conference, he really challenged me.  He stepped before a group of hundreds of church planters seeking wisdom about church systems and strategies and addressed the deeper issue: spirituality.  Michael went through the story of Nehemiah, a book I had already been studying for leadership principles (posts coming soon) and mentioned how though Nehemiah had a passion and a vision, he was still patient and faithful in an extended time of waiting.  That time of waiting ultimately caused Nehemiah to be more prepared when his chance to carry out his God-given vision arose.

I’ve never been one to adapt a habit or system just to copy someone else, but after a very honest (and even heated) conversation with my wife on the way home, I determined that I needed to set aside forty days.  For the past month (and several more days) I have determined not to take any more steps toward church planting.  Rather than raising funds, making plans, and meeting with people, I have prayed.  Each morning during this time I have began the day by asking God what my prayer focus should be for the day, and then I have journaled what God has taught me throughout the days.

I have been lead to pray for things like purity, God’s favor, our marriage, and the less fortunate.  Most successful church plant stories include unexplained acts of God that will not come to a person or group that is pursuing their agenda and plan rather than God Himself.

So if any of you have wondered why you have not received any church planting updates from me lately, it’s because there simply is nothing to update you on.  My focus right now is not progress; it’s not movement.  My focus is God.  If I don’t make sure I have that right at this point, it will become more and more difficult to realign myself once things are in motion.  I’m taking the time now to make sure I don’t see the end as being another church in Chattanooga, but rather being in a place where I hear from God and am able to be used by Him.

Today twitter, blogs, espn, radio talk shows, and every other source of media is blowing up with hate and anger in reaction to LeBron’s choice.  The Cleveland Cavs owner has basically called LeBron an egotistical jerk (not exactly a smart move in recruiting future players) and some people in Cleveland have been seen burning jerseys of the player who was their hero just weeks before.

The emotional side of me of course wants to be upset that the best player in the game walked away from my childhood team.  However, stepping back from the situation, I have to admit that what LeBron did was a very humble and smart move.  He is taking less money to play on a team with his best friends and gives him a great shot at winning a championship.  I mean, aren’t professional athletes constantly criticized of following the money and having inflated egos to where they over estimate their own abilities?  In this case, LeBron has done exactly the opposite.  Again, he is giving up money to play where he wants to play, with whom he wants to play, and on a team that will probably win it all several times in the years to come.  Unless you are a fan of one of the other teams that wanted James, how in the world can you be upset about his decision.  Yet still, he is facing a lot of heat (no pun intended) for his choice to put winning above the dollar.

This just goes to show you will NEVER be able to please everyone.  There is no move Lebron could have made that would have made everyone, or even most everyone, happy.  The same goes for you and me.  When we try to live our lives according to common opinion, we will only set ourselves up to have more critics as well as becoming more aware that we now have more critics.

In a conversation with my wife just yesterday she made the comment, “It’s not ok for me to want that” in reference with a desire she has for her future.  Her statement came as a result of pressures she feels from others.  For most of us, if we continue our lives as current we will have to hear “concerns” from others as to why we are not doing “this” or “that.”  If we step out and make some changes, whether by our choice or pressure from others, there will be those who will question us as to who do we think that we are that we would go and do that.

There will always be opposition, many times from those we least expect and possibly even those we are closest to.  Case in point, we cannot live our lives trying to appease others.  It’s a formula for exhausting ourselves and becoming walked all over.

Be who you are.  Want what you want.  Do what you feel like doing (as long as it’s legal) and don’t apologize for it!

Of course the everybody matters, we’re all on the same team idea from my last post is great, and ideal, but rarely the case.  The core values on the wall at your place of work may state that “Everyone matters”, but face it, there are days when you realize there is a huge chasm between you and the executives of your organization.  You are treated differently in how your coworkers, and perhaps even customers, listen, respond, and dedicate themselves to your boss over you.

It’s unfair isn’t it?  Everyone sits up straight and puts a smile on their face when the CEO walks in.  All his jokes are funny and everyone gathers around to hear about his family vacation.  And you can’t even get the accountant to spell your name right on a paycheck.  People respect the CEO.  And why?  Simply because they are the boss!  It’s all about the position.

When the boss asks questions in a meeting or challenges the process, he is making us a better organization and causing us to rise above the status quo and when you do the same thing you are annoying and trying to make everything difficult.  When giving your best efforts you are a “show-off” or a “suck-up” and are often asked “who do you think you are?” when you try to propose an idea.

I have a coworker who has inquired about my intentions or concern for work because I am laid back and try to keep things light.  This same coworker is friends with the CEO of a major organization in our city and raves about how well he handles the stress and is so funny when he cuts up in serious moments.  How in the world are those different?!?!  The only difference is….position.

What do you think?  I’m I on to something or way off?

What has your experience been?

Was I more accurate in my last post or in this one?  Are both true?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Though we are still early in the game, we are being aggressive in pursuing any opportunities that could get us into Chattanooga or having us better prepared once we get there.  I have looked into a few job options up in C-town.  We are attending a one day conference for church planters later this month.  And I’m counting on my book selling half a million copies so I can quit work.

Ok, so maybe the last one is not very likely.  But we will be doing fundraising soon so we can minister full time and get plugged in to the city of Chattanooga.  So if you know of anyone with a generous heart, the resources to give, and a love for the people and souls in Chattanooga, please shoot me an email!  I plan on being intentional about building relationships with those who could partner with us in this way.

I also hope in the next year to put myself under the mentoring of some guys who have been successful church planters.  One of those is Michael Lukaszewski. Michael planted Oak Leaf church in Cartersville and is a great leader.  For real, you need to follow his blog and his twitter account as I think he always has solid and interesting things to say.  Michael and his staff are leading a one day conference for church planters and their teams.  By being just one day, June 26^th, and costing just $10, the Oak Leaf team is going out of their way to make this a user friendly resource for church planters in Georgia.

The conference is called nuts and bolts and if you would like information or to go with Katy and I, just click on the link or email me.

I’m looking forward to the conference Michael!

In case you were unable to join us, we had a wonderful wedding day.  We broke a lot of unwritten wedding rules by seeing each other and having our pictures taken before the ceremony.  The people who didn’t have to wait nine hours between wedding and reception appreciated this.

We had the band Simple Fool lead a worship set at the beginning of the ceremony and some of our friends enjoyed the music so much they are now attending the church.

But even after the cake had been eaten, the presents were opened, and our car cleaned up from all our wedding party did to it, Katy and I found ourselves sitting in our hotel room asking, “When will this feel real?”

Though we are still wondering when the reality of our being married will kick in, feedback from others has proven to me that they are now seeing me as “real”.  I started to understand this when a premarital workbook we were doing had me interview my parents.  One of the questions was “how will me getting married effect my relationship with you?”

Immediately my dad spoke up and said, “we will begin to see you as a real adult.”  Thinking about his answer later, I almost got upset.  I knew what he meant by it, but I find the attitude reflected a lot in our society that you’re not legit until you reach this age or have a certain status, in this case ‘married’.

I have a great friend in full time ministry, accomplishing a lot and dealing with a lot of responsibility.  Even though my friend is a good bit older than I, he consistently has people approaching him trying to hook him up with a date or treat him like there’s something wrong with him because he’s single.

When getting mad at my dad and others for waiting until now to take me seriously, I had to realize that I actually had (and have) this attitude toward myself.  So many times I would use excuses to myself like, “well when I reach the next stage in life” or “I’ll get serious once I’m…..(married)”

These excuses caused me to not always take myself seriously and perhaps as a result gave others an excuse to not take me seriously either.  And if I think that just putting on a ring is going to cause others to take me seriously I would be just as mistaken as if I thought the state would give me a license just for turning sixteen.

Marriage is a huge step in life and in most cases causes a lot of growth and reflects maturity.  But having others (as well as myself) believe that now that I’m married my “real life” can begin made me feel like I wasted a lot of time.  It also caused me to never want to judge someone or their worth based on if they are where I think they should be at their current stage in life.

Ever heard any of these?  I’m sure I’ve heard more “just phrases” than I realize.  I noticed it the other day while at the dentist though.  As he was cleaning my teeth he began to make small talk between spits.  After a couple questions he stated, “so you’re just working”?

What?!?!

Just working?  Yeah!  I’m doing what it takes to make money so I don’t end up homeless.  Yeah, I’m putting in 80 hours a week so I can make my car payment and give to church and get married.  Yeah I’m JUST working!  But, his hands we in my mouth so I just nodded and moaned.

I thought about it though.  When we say just anything, we’re downplaying another person or their situation.  “It’s just a cold”.  “It’s just a few hours”.

Kinda makes me wanna step in something, walk through your house and say, “it’s just dog crap”!

The Bible tells us not to let others look down on us and then gives a list of reasons they might, like age or race.  Though we can’t stop others from thinking what they want, I think we are not supposed to take our worth from them.  We live in a competitive society and when others feel poorly about themselves they try to find one thing about one person that doesn’t seem all that great and pounce.

I’m not just anything, and neither are you.  If we have a right view of God, we won’t even judge ourselves as just’s.  Rather, we are. We’re not defined by what we do or where we live.  Our race, gender, height, orientation, or amount of facebook friends don’t make better than anyone else.

God determines our worth and the fact He thought us worthy to save means we’re alright.  He won’t let us have a pity party because we’re not pitiful enough to merit one.  You may be broke, naked, dirty, or ignorant, but you’re His.

If you’ve been in church for long, I’m sure you’ve either heard or experienced a lot to do with guilt.  The traditional church has mastered making others feel guilty for listening to secular music, drinking too many beers, not witnessing to enough strangers, and a series of other non-eternal issues.  The contemporary church tries to rescue those who have been damaged by that type of church and so they bend the opposite direction in emphasizing that we should not focus on guilt or be a hostage to it.

So with two opposing views about guilt coming from people who truly love Jesus, where are we to stand.  Could it not be that a little guilt could be healthy and perhaps could even be used by God?  I personally believe that guilt shows us the condition of our soul.  God intended for us to live holy and whole, but we don’t always do that.  And when we mess up, guilt becomes present.  I don’t think we should let it overtake us, but just like pain to our outer body, guilt may serve as an alarm that something is wrong with our inner person.

When discussing with a friend that I was putting a lot of guilt on myself over what I had done that caused me to be released from a previous ministry experience, I was told to not put more of it on myself than I should but not less than God would.

So, what has been your experience with guilt?  Does church leave you feeling with more or less guilt than you think is healthy?   How has that affected your view of church and perhaps even God?  As I look to develop a message that I can present in correlation with my upcoming book, I would greatly appreciate your input on this and the other issues we will be discussing on here in the following days.

Something I have been receiving from God is that I am good enough.  Not that I could or should ever think I can do anything great without Him, but that He can use me just as greatly as He has used any of those I admire.  In months past it was really difficult for me to meet with great church leaders or experienced ministry “professionals.”  I felt as though I should be accepting everything they had to say and was no one to be disagreeing with them.  I would always walk away grateful for the advice, but still knowing that some of what they said was not true to my personal vision.

A repeated phrase though that I have heard from many I respect is that “you must fight for your vision.”  I have had young, old, traditional, and contemporary church leaders express the importance of not allowing others to derail or cloud what God has put on my heart.  Some have even advised I be “mean” about my vision.  It took some growth on my part though to come to the point where I felt I could humbly, yet boldly, determine that if what I feel called to is truly going to be my vision, and if I’m going to be the one who holds to it and leads a ministry to carry it out, I have to believe in myself and recognize that I am good enough.  I may see others as better than myself, but if I know I have heard from God about what is the call for me and my specific ministry, then that’s what I must stick to if I’m going to be obedient.

If God’s sees us as good enough to put a call on our lives, we must see ourselves as good enough to pursue it.