Of course the everybody matters, we’re all on the same team idea from my last post is great, and ideal, but rarely the case.  The core values on the wall at your place of work may state that “Everyone matters”, but face it, there are days when you realize there is a huge chasm between you and the executives of your organization.  You are treated differently in how your coworkers, and perhaps even customers, listen, respond, and dedicate themselves to your boss over you.

It’s unfair isn’t it?  Everyone sits up straight and puts a smile on their face when the CEO walks in.  All his jokes are funny and everyone gathers around to hear about his family vacation.  And you can’t even get the accountant to spell your name right on a paycheck.  People respect the CEO.  And why?  Simply because they are the boss!  It’s all about the position.

When the boss asks questions in a meeting or challenges the process, he is making us a better organization and causing us to rise above the status quo and when you do the same thing you are annoying and trying to make everything difficult.  When giving your best efforts you are a “show-off” or a “suck-up” and are often asked “who do you think you are?” when you try to propose an idea.

I have a coworker who has inquired about my intentions or concern for work because I am laid back and try to keep things light.  This same coworker is friends with the CEO of a major organization in our city and raves about how well he handles the stress and is so funny when he cuts up in serious moments.  How in the world are those different?!?!  The only difference is….position.

What do you think?  I’m I on to something or way off?

What has your experience been?

Was I more accurate in my last post or in this one?  Are both true?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

• Vision
• Faith
• Leadership
• Purity

Salvation and Life Change

• The lost in Chattanooga
• Friends
• Family members
• Homeless
• Addicted
• Opportunities

The Church Plant

• God to grow it
• Relationships
• Finances
• The right place
• People
• Unity
• Launch/core team

My Marriage

• Sacrifice
• Love
• Purity
• Trust
• Partnership

My Relationship with God

• Clarity
• Wisdom
• Faith
• Power in prayer
• To hear from God
  • LISTEN!!!!

In case you were unable to join us, we had a wonderful wedding day.  We broke a lot of unwritten wedding rules by seeing each other and having our pictures taken before the ceremony.  The people who didn’t have to wait nine hours between wedding and reception appreciated this.

We had the band Simple Fool lead a worship set at the beginning of the ceremony and some of our friends enjoyed the music so much they are now attending the church.

But even after the cake had been eaten, the presents were opened, and our car cleaned up from all our wedding party did to it, Katy and I found ourselves sitting in our hotel room asking, “When will this feel real?”

Though we are still wondering when the reality of our being married will kick in, feedback from others has proven to me that they are now seeing me as “real”.  I started to understand this when a premarital workbook we were doing had me interview my parents.  One of the questions was “how will me getting married effect my relationship with you?”

Immediately my dad spoke up and said, “we will begin to see you as a real adult.”  Thinking about his answer later, I almost got upset.  I knew what he meant by it, but I find the attitude reflected a lot in our society that you’re not legit until you reach this age or have a certain status, in this case ‘married’.

I have a great friend in full time ministry, accomplishing a lot and dealing with a lot of responsibility.  Even though my friend is a good bit older than I, he consistently has people approaching him trying to hook him up with a date or treat him like there’s something wrong with him because he’s single.

When getting mad at my dad and others for waiting until now to take me seriously, I had to realize that I actually had (and have) this attitude toward myself.  So many times I would use excuses to myself like, “well when I reach the next stage in life” or “I’ll get serious once I’m…..(married)”

These excuses caused me to not always take myself seriously and perhaps as a result gave others an excuse to not take me seriously either.  And if I think that just putting on a ring is going to cause others to take me seriously I would be just as mistaken as if I thought the state would give me a license just for turning sixteen.

Marriage is a huge step in life and in most cases causes a lot of growth and reflects maturity.  But having others (as well as myself) believe that now that I’m married my “real life” can begin made me feel like I wasted a lot of time.  It also caused me to never want to judge someone or their worth based on if they are where I think they should be at their current stage in life.

Ever heard any of these?  I’m sure I’ve heard more “just phrases” than I realize.  I noticed it the other day while at the dentist though.  As he was cleaning my teeth he began to make small talk between spits.  After a couple questions he stated, “so you’re just working”?

What?!?!

Just working?  Yeah!  I’m doing what it takes to make money so I don’t end up homeless.  Yeah, I’m putting in 80 hours a week so I can make my car payment and give to church and get married.  Yeah I’m JUST working!  But, his hands we in my mouth so I just nodded and moaned.

I thought about it though.  When we say just anything, we’re downplaying another person or their situation.  “It’s just a cold”.  “It’s just a few hours”.

Kinda makes me wanna step in something, walk through your house and say, “it’s just dog crap”!

The Bible tells us not to let others look down on us and then gives a list of reasons they might, like age or race.  Though we can’t stop others from thinking what they want, I think we are not supposed to take our worth from them.  We live in a competitive society and when others feel poorly about themselves they try to find one thing about one person that doesn’t seem all that great and pounce.

I’m not just anything, and neither are you.  If we have a right view of God, we won’t even judge ourselves as just’s.  Rather, we are. We’re not defined by what we do or where we live.  Our race, gender, height, orientation, or amount of facebook friends don’t make better than anyone else.

God determines our worth and the fact He thought us worthy to save means we’re alright.  He won’t let us have a pity party because we’re not pitiful enough to merit one.  You may be broke, naked, dirty, or ignorant, but you’re His.

During the first song I began to sense an atmosphere of real worship.  I looked around to see many who through their posture or facial expressions seemed to be showing earnestness and abandonment.  I had to quit singing as I choked up and my throat became sore at the thought of the individual lives that God had touched and the people our church had impacted which was now resulting in many gathering to worship.

At the second song for some reason my mind strayed and I found myself reflecting on funny moments and good memories in my relationship with Katy that will in a few days result in our marriage.  I smiled and chuckled out loud as these thoughts screened through my mind.  I almost caught myself, wanting to think it was inappropriate for me to be thinking about her in a service about God but felt a peace as I realized I was worshiping.  My thoughts were causing me to experience joy and gratitude over a blessing God has provided me and I bowed to thank Him.

Finally I raised my head again to sing and found myself in the middle of a crowd that was predominantly my peers – people in their twenties.  I thought about how growing up in church and at Bible college I was prepared with the “facts” that after high school the majority of young people will leave church.  Yet I looked around and got goose bumps as I saw hundreds of young people, some with tattoos, long hair, and all with non-traditional church clothes, worshiping God.  Some were clapping, some were raising their hands, but most were engaged in what was going on.  My eyes gazed across a young man I know does not like the music or style of our church but returns because he has said we are the only place that has reached out to him and made it easy for him to connect.

I was unable to sing for most of the service, but I felt like I worshipped in a way I have not done in a long time.  I left the service with more appreciation for my blessings on earth and more in awe of what God is doing in those around me.  Being lost in worship I found myself secure in who God is and thankful for how He’s working in others, rather than jealous.

I had not “prepared my heart” for worship that morning, but apparently I came in a position that allowed me to hear from God.  May we continually live in a place where we can hear from God, because you never know when He may choose to take a routine moment and turn it into a time of true worship.

Could somebody go to this page, scroll down to the “Group Illusion,” and please explain it to me?!?  I have wasted so much time at work the past few days staring at my screen, trying to figure out where the person disappears to.

Our church has begun a Thursday night service to serve as a third service because of overflowing crowds on Sundays.  I got to stand around before the service last night and talk with some of the volunteers.  It was really good to hear both old and young men showing excitement about this new, unique service our church is doing to reach our community.  I heard several stories by these guys where they talked about being convicted about not being involved enough or sacrificing enough within the church.  It was exciting for me to see some guys from different generations working together and showing pride in getting to be a part of what their church is doing.

The week we spent apart however, trying to examine ourselves and reevaluate things, allowed me to do some serious testing as to what exactly I wanted out of love and a serious relationship.  It dawned on me that I’m no longer seeking to be anyone’s knight in shining armor, come to sweep them off their feet.  I’m not trying to be the brilliant young looker from the movies who always knows just what to say to bring joy to his woman’s heart in any situation.  I’m too human to be those things.

I simply want someone to do life with.  I think we create this image of the perfect person who is out there and we spend so much time, effort, and money into trying to find him or her that when we finally do come to the place of settling down, we enter with so much baggage over past failures based on others being unable to compare to the created lover in our mind.  I’ve been burnt in the past and I’ve acted poorly as well, trying so hard to manufacture a relationship with a certain image or one to show off and compare against others.  I’m tired of that.  I just want to be me this time.

Sure, I need some improvements and have a lot to learn about love and sacrifice, but I’m going into it this time simply being who I am.  And my expectations for the other person are not as shallow or selfish as before.  I just want someone to love and make me feel loved.  Someone I will look forward to coming home to each day; a godly young lady who takes responsibility in ministering to me and being my greatest fan while at the same time not hesitating to challenge me and cause me to have to grow stronger.

I’m willing to put the work in.  I desire to fight each day to earn her love while in the back of my mind knowing I could never do anything to loose it.  But I want to do that work for a real relationship, with a real person – a person who lives and breathes and makes mistakes.  Someone I hold hands with and who drags me to shops, museums, and plays I don’t want to go to.  I long for simplicity and am committed to working toward a relationship that will cut away all the unnecessary things in my life so that I can more fully enjoy what is real.

You don’t find the one, you create them.  You create the one who is right for you by finding a person you are willing to put the time into a relationship with that moves past compatibility into commitment.  That’s what I meant when I said in this post that I have worked my way into love – and it’s amazing!