Leadership Before Lunch
Posted By Aaron Marcelli on October 29, 2009
I have been challenging myself lately to really work on developing my leadership abilities and potential. Mostly, this has consisted of me spending more time reading leadership materials, practicing leadership and being assertive in the acts of my everyday life, and observing good or bad leadership characteristics in others. Fortunately, for about the past two months I have been able to work alongside some great managers and leaders and gain from simply talking to them and watching them in action.
I have also looked back over past jobs, experiences, and situations in my own life to see if I can draw from my mistakes or the example I saw in others. One very simple memory came to mind but the more I pondered it, the more I saw it as a great illustration of what I believe to be the best qualities of leadership.
At some point during what I believe was our junior year in high school, my buddy Aaron and I had made lunch plans with our pastor, Mike Frazier. We arrived at the church office, they paged Pastor Frazier, and we all walked out and got in his car. That’s when this conversation happened:
Pastor Frazier: So where do you guys want to eat?
Aaron and I: We don’t care. Wherever.
Pastor: Well how about Chili’s?
Me: uh, I don’t really care for Chili’s too much (cause I was a moron back then)
Pastor: ok, Aaron doesn’t like Chili’s. Friday’s sound ok?
Aaron and I: yeah. That’s good
Pastor: Good. We’ll go to Friday’s on a Friday (corny pastor joke)
So…simple enough conversation, right? Well maybe I’m just looking at it too deeply but that conversation displays many of the leadership qualities I have been reading about and noticing in others around me. First, Pastor Frazier gave us a choice. He was the one driving and ended up, he demanded to be the one who paid. He had every right to tell us where we were going, but he allowed us to have a voice into the choice. Secondly, he made a choice. When we declined to pick a place, he did not do that whole first date “I don’t know, what do you want to do” thing; he chose. I am learning more and more that a big part of leadership is being willing to be the one who makes the decisions.
Leadership is also about manning up about your decisions when you make the wrong one. Now Chili’s was not a wrong decision, and if I had got out more as a kid and known they actually serve more than just chili, my life would be better right now. But our pastor’s initial choice got rejected, yet he did not cower and say, “well then you pick”. He just went on to make another decision and then also added a little joke to set the mood light so I did not feel bad about being picky.
Simple, I know. But someone once told me that leadership is simple and that changed my life. It’s not about being the boss in such a way you don’t listen to others or suggest their input. It is about recognizing though that you are the one who needs to make the ultimate calls. Leaders must be comfortable with decision-making. And then, leaders need to have the guts to stand up and be willing to take both the praise and criticism that comes as a result of the decisions they have made. Good leaders don’t hide in tough times. They admit they made a mistake and because life is full of decisions, they promise their followers they will do better the next time.
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Interesting example Aaron. Glad you picked up on that. Have you read “How to win friends and influence people?” It is an oldie, but a goodie. I think that it shows more people person characteristics, but that is one thing you need to be as a leader.
By the way, do you have any stories of bad leadership from student government when you were at TTU? haha.