AaronMarcelli.org

Posted By Aaron Marcelli on September 17, 2009

There’s an old adage that says don’t assume because when you assume you make an…and then it calls us names that people would get mad at me for using on this website.  Yet, I tend to be an assumer.  I don’t always say a lot, assuming those around me already know what I would say anyway.  I don’t ask questions because I just figure I already know what I need to.  Sometimes I leap to such judgments about people, things, concepts, or whatever and often skip right to assuming the worst (this will not work, they don’t like me, no one will laugh…).

This is an area where I certainly need work as I have been faced with the reality that a lot of my assumptions are wrong and that to even come to them so quickly is many times unfair.  When we are so immediate to build that wall of assumption, we turn ourselves off from a lesson, experience, or blessing that may have been about to come from an unlikely source.  So among the many that exist, here are some assumptions and generalizations I have made that have hurt me.

“All old people are Republicans”

Oddly enough, my stereotype here used to be the exact opposite.  My dad had me convinced that the democrats had scared all the senior citizens in the state of Ohio into being in their party.  This caused me to grunt and walk away anytime politics came up if there was a “more experienced” person in the room (even though I knew less about politics then than the little I know now).

Because I now live in the Bible belt, perhaps my conclusion is somewhat based on reason but I know I’m still painting with way too broad a brush.  I understand that my political outlook has changed in the past years and that few of the people I work, socialize, or worship with share my views or opinions on such things, so I do try and remain somewhat reserved when these issues arise.  Still though, in my mind I will judge what I believe are probably a person’s values and in my mind play what I expect to be their comments on the president, health care, global worming, etc.

I have been shocked not only to find out that my labeling is not always correct and there are many well-aged democrats, but also that a lot of the republicans of age I have met are more open-minded and willing to discuss the issues than I had given them credit for.  Don’t get me wrong, I do not hold adamantly to the label of either major party, and there are just as many close minded and uninformed people on one side as the other, but until recently I had been pre-determining that anyone I ran into above a certain age must be right wing.  I’m glad I have had some experiences and conversations show me that I was wrong.  And even in the times I may not have been “wrong” about their political lean, I was wrong in my assumptions of what traits and attitudes may come with that view.

“All Baptists are dogmatic”

Again, I have had experiences that have caused me to come to this assumption.  It’s not that I had anything initially against Baptists or that I stubbornly oppose all of them now, after all, I did grow up as one.  In Bible College though I was exposed to the reality that they cannot even get along with each other.  Forget the fact that there are numerous denominations that label themselves as a sect of Baptists (American, Southern, Independent, Missionary, Free Will…….); my experience had taught me that it is the norm for these believers of supposedly alike beliefs and practices to fight and split among themselves.

After years of this and the reoccurring incident of Baptists from my past still approaching me about “concerns” they have about my beliefs, my neglect to finish my master’s, or my engaging in “the appearance of evil” I developed an almost bitter attitude against them.  They seemed to be such unhappy, unthankful, boring, people who went to church because they felt they had to and were opposed to anything new, loud, or modern.  Certainly, some of this is true and turns many people away from any church with the “B” word on its sign, but such traits are not the standard.

Many Baptists have been a blessing, encouragement, and example to me.  It was wrong of me to ever allow a few extreme cases to cloud my view of the whole group.  I believe I have settled into a happy medium now where I still see little point in denominations but realize the reason denominations are so messed up is because they contain messed up people, like me.  I owe a lot to Baptists, like a solid education and some great believing friends.

“Foreigners are not as smart as Americans”

It is nowhere in me to be racist and I would probably never have even thought to say the above phrase out loud, but I have thought it before.  The two main reasons I ever assumed this of those different than myself are 1.) a lack of global perspective and understanding, and 2.) confusing language barriers with intellectual differences.

If a foreign student would have problems understanding me, I would blame it on their ability to reason rather than their undeveloped English vocabulary.  One time I took a 50 year old African man named Kirby to Wal-Mart during my days in college.  On the way he told me how he never told his son that he loved him in fear the information would be abused by the son to get whatever he wanted from his love-vulnerable father.  My thought did not go to the concept that we have different cultures and values in our countries, but rather that he was wrong because they just have not come around to the right way of doing things over there.

It’s been hard for me to get off of this subconscious assumption of mine and I have even had to be called out when speaking down to others who were not American.  My desire though is not to build any walls of separation or come off as acting superior and certainly not for reasons as shallow as race or ethnicity.  Along with the other two exaggerated assumptions above, I have had to change in this area of thinking as I become more involved in my community and allow a passion and love for people override my preferences or preconceived ideas.

Category: Church Life / Denominations, My Life / Personal, Politics
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