Thoughts On Being Married
Posted By Aaron Marcelli on May 13, 2010
If anyone needs marriage counseling, feel free to give me a call. I mean, I’ve been married for almost two weeks so I’m pretty much an expert now.
In case you were unable to join us, we had a wonderful wedding day. We broke a lot of unwritten wedding rules by seeing each other and having our pictures taken before the ceremony. The people who didn’t have to wait nine hours between wedding and reception appreciated this.
We had the band Simple Fool lead a worship set at the beginning of the ceremony and some of our friends enjoyed the music so much they are now attending the church.
But even after the cake had been eaten, the presents were opened, and our car cleaned up from all our wedding party did to it, Katy and I found ourselves sitting in our hotel room asking, “When will this feel real?”
Though we are still wondering when the reality of our being married will kick in, feedback from others has proven to me that they are now seeing me as “real”. I started to understand this when a premarital workbook we were doing had me interview my parents. One of the questions was “how will me getting married effect my relationship with you?”
Immediately my dad spoke up and said, “we will begin to see you as a real adult.” Thinking about his answer later, I almost got upset. I knew what he meant by it, but I find the attitude reflected a lot in our society that you’re not legit until you reach this age or have a certain status, in this case ‘married’.
I have a great friend in full time ministry, accomplishing a lot and dealing with a lot of responsibility. Even though my friend is a good bit older than I, he consistently has people approaching him trying to hook him up with a date or treat him like there’s something wrong with him because he’s single.
When getting mad at my dad and others for waiting until now to take me seriously, I had to realize that I actually had (and have) this attitude toward myself. So many times I would use excuses to myself like, “well when I reach the next stage in life” or “I’ll get serious once I’m…..(married)”
These excuses caused me to not always take myself seriously and perhaps as a result gave others an excuse to not take me seriously either. And if I think that just putting on a ring is going to cause others to take me seriously I would be just as mistaken as if I thought the state would give me a license just for turning sixteen.
Marriage is a huge step in life and in most cases causes a lot of growth and reflects maturity. But having others (as well as myself) believe that now that I’m married my “real life” can begin made me feel like I wasted a lot of time. It also caused me to never want to judge someone or their worth based on if they are where I think they should be at their current stage in life.
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