Posted By Aaron Marcelli on January 11, 2012
In chapter 8 of my book I tell of going to lunch with a church layman who taught me about the two people you need in your life. It would be to our benefit to always have people in these roles but they will prove all the more valuable during times of personal struggle or moral failure.
A Mirror-holder is someone who’s willing to always be honest with you, show you what you are doing wrong, and reflect back to you how you are coming off to others.
A Hand-holder is someone who will be there in tough times, not to condemn us for what we’ve done but to love and support us as we deal with our difficulties.
Usually we cannot have one person be both of these for us. Most of the people whose personalities cause them to be great in one of these roles will not allow them to be the other.
We need that honest person who will say the hard things, has been through tough times themselves and can share their story in warning as they see danger in our lives. We also need that compassionate person who will give us a hug and always take our side. Such relationships help us stand and make us stronger. Putting people in these places in our lives can be valuable at all times and essential in times of struggle or sin. These relationships are not simply people to be used by us, but to be support for us.
I think accountability is crucial for pure living and a mirror-holder and hand-holder are just the kind of relationships you we seek.